Getting married is a beautiful experience. When you say “I do”, you would never, in a million years, think that in a year, five years, ten years, or 20 years, you would be talking to an attorney about dissolving your marriage. I’ve been married for five years. I’ve had my good times, bad times, and at times I thought, what the hell have I gotten myself into? Yes, I’ve thought about divorce. I love my husband, but LOVE will not keep your marriage together. I’m not the same woman my husband married, and he is not the same either. When I look at why I wanted to leave my marriage, it was for selfish reasons. This means, that if it’s just me, I can obtain my goals, if I was single, I can do whatever I want. All of the statements are about me and what I want at that moment.
Ladies, these emotional rollercoasters come and go. He will do something great and change the way I feel. Then God will answer my prayer and change my husband! My husband is a great guy with flaws. We all have issues, baggage, and drama when we unite with someone. I had to learn to accept him as he is and not change him; only God can do that. Being married taught me to work on myself more and control what I can fix. I see my therapist and read books that help me work on making Bridgett into a better wife, friend, business owner, and daughter. Also, I exposed myself to people that have healthy marriages/relationships. Watching others with successful marriages/relationships gives me hope and shows me if they can do it, so can I!
The following points will help you figure out your next steps. I learned to listen to some of my elders and not consult my family or close friends when making a hard decision concerning my marriage. Naturally, women want to tell their parents and close girlfriends. I’ve seen this backfire. You must refrain from spilling the tea or telling all your business. If you need help, consult a licensed professional. Remember, everyone has issues, and 99% of them are happy things are happening to you and not to them.
One: Pray
The power of prayer is a wonderful thing. This is a time to talk to God. My husband would tell me to talk to God like he is one of my friends. Be vulnerable, open, and don’t hold back. He can handle it, and he is waiting for you to surrender ALL your burdens to him so he can fix it. We try to fix everything on our own and never consult God. I’m guilty of that. Try your heavenly Father first. He is the best therapist, He costs nothing, and He is always for you!
Ask Him to show you what you can work on when it comes to your marriage. Talk to Him about your husband and what he needs help with. If you don’t know what to say, cry, scream, yell, moan. He knows that language as well. Purchase this book: Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310347297/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_K8D8GPTG8E3JTSQNWRYE it’s an excellent book for you and your spouse can read together. This helps me in my marriage.
If God answered your prayer and brought the man of your dreams to you, He can help you at this point in your life.
Two: Hire a financial coach
Hiring a financial coach will prepare you for the present and future. If you have a business, please protect your livelihood.
At the beginning of your journey, you are excited you made your dream come true but are not caught up in the details. When I started my business and helped my own clients, I learned that they/I didn’t have my financial life together. I learned that people don’t want to talk about or share the mistakes they have made when it comes to money. DON’T make that mistake! I took time out to learn from wealthy and successful business owners, and I learned they had a financial coach/mentor, several retirement accounts, and insurance.
The first thing you should start is getting your personal finances in order. How you manage your personal income will be the same way you handle your business. For instance, if you get paid from your full-time job and never save, invest, or pay the debt, you will repeat the same behavior in your business. I learned that when your financial life is together, you will feel better about yourself and have less stress. It feels good to know when I retire or when life happens, I can financially handle it. My favorite financial affirmation I say daily is I can laugh at the days to come because I am financially prepared for them. Say this every day and see things change for you in your financial world.
Your financial coach/mentor will help you achieve your financial goals and guide you in the right direction. Face your fears when it comes to money and gets more knowledge about money to have a better understanding. This will give you confidence and prevent someone from taking advantage of you when it comes to your money.